The Shameful, Unspoken Mother Matriarchal Wound- Inner Child Healing Series
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For this year’s spooky season, I chose to challenge myself beyond my typical fashion- based inspired Halloween costume to something that would better relate to my personal healing/authenticity journey. For those of you that are not following my other social media platforms, my Halloween costume was inspired by the character, Beverly Sutphin, from John Water’s 1994 Horror/Comedy, Serial Mom. Serial Mom has always been a nostalgic favorite of mine. Water’s brilliantly transforms a horrific story into a comedy; something that is much easier to consume for the public. If you have never seen or heard of Serial Mom, click HERE for a brief plot synopsis.
Many people are unaware, I know I didn’t realize it until much later in life, that Serial Mom is indeed based on true events. As I sat and relived a brief moment of my childhood and rewatched it a few different times over the past few weeks, I realized just how frequently trauma-based realities are put directly in our faces, but many times, it is too hard for us to even fathom they have any real truth to them. I feel this is why Water’s chose to tell the harsh reality of the actual story the individuals involved endured in the way in which he did. It is hard to believe that someone, especially a mother, would be capable of such horrendous actions and crimes as Beverly committed. Her actions created deep, dark wounds for her family and the others involved, while she simultaneously, presented herself to the public as a stellar mother, friend, and community member. Water’s decision to portray this horrific story in a comedic way allowed the portrayal of such a vile, narcissistic, psychopath to be broadcasted to a worldwide audience. Especially for that time frame of the early 90s when the word narcissism and narcissists were not as prevalent as they are today. Overall, Beverly’s actions created a deep mother wound sure to plague them all until each person takes the necessary actions to properly heal the trauma.
Check out my TikTok video of me merging into Serial Mom herself:
“Tailored” Poetic Justice poem series
Some of you may be thinking that Serial Mom is simply a movie and that I am essentially making a mountain out of a molehill in considering the trauma and healing process of fictional characters. But remember, I mentioned earlier that it is based on true events; so, there was real trauma present for all individuals involved in that situation. But even going beyond that, many of us unknowingly carry our own mother wound that has been secretly plaguing our lives and repressing and stifling our authenticity and integrity.
Tailored creatively explores my mother/matriarch wound. How I personally wore trauma tailored specifically for me to bear. Trauma I had no part in creating, but that I was expected to silently wear and carry my entire life. Authenticity I was never allowed to custom-fit to reflect my true being.
Check out “Tailored” on my YouTube channel:
Real Life Horror Story of the Mother Wound
To some of those that choose to celebrate Halloween, it is a time in which participants young and old get the opportunity to dress up as their favorite cartoon or movie character or whatever their imagination desires. A time in which those willing to participate get the chance to dress and behave totally out of their character and mimic and embody another’s look, personality, character, etc. By November 1st, the multitude of characters are neatly tucked and stored away and the collective’s focus quickly shifts into the Holiday season (Thanksgiving and Christmas) mode.
But, what about those that do not have such a luxury and are left to battle the continuous turmoil and dysfunction of some of those very same characters others got to simply play at then put away?
The Mother Wound
The mother wound is a wound many, especially those in the Black community, are ashamed to admit they bear. The mother is the foundation in many Black households and it can be intimating, and even isolating, to stand in your truth and tell the matriarchs of the family how their actions, whether intentional or not, negatively affected you. The mother wound can manifest in many, many, many ways; some in which include, tumultuous relationships (platonic, romantic, career, etc.), a negative relationship with money, stunted or stifled creativity, repressed sexual identities, and fear of the unknown (an insatiable crave for ‘control’ over everything in one’s life); just to name a few. The mother wound is not necessarily just the immediate mother, whether born from or adopted. It includes ALL the women/matriarchs of the family. If any of the women in one’s family created mental, physical, or spiritual anguish for the individual, it is still considered the mother wound. It is important for us all to stand in our authenticity and reject the shame and guilt commonly attached to properly identifying the mother wound. It is not your responsibility to protect those that have harmed you, but it is your responsibility to protect YOU. Toss aside those improperly fitting truths you were thrifted and have worn for so long as your own. It is now your time to create custom-fitted truths; your authenticity and integrity.
💌Related love note you might love:
Lavender Heart Tea is now available at withlovekeesh.com, Amazon + Barnes & Nobles
Until next time.
2With Love, Keesh
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